Hillsong. United we stand!!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007 Labels: general 6 commentsHow to run a Hillsong service:
Have congregation greeted by great big gold statue of Freddie Mercury. And then welcomed by a extremely good looking person - usually Australian - and then ushered into the theatre. Once there you are shown to your seat by an extremely good looking person wearing Hillsong garb - usually Australian.
Once seated you will be treated to a huge banner at the back of the stage he size of apporximatly 1412 English Christians (141 American Christians) with images of London. 'Welcome Home' is displayed in big letters - in smaller print is 'if you happen to live in a theatre - if not - then welcome to the show!'
To start the show - sorry service - a count down timer starts at the one minute mark - Jesus is coming! Not long till he is here now. Get excited! Then. Its here! Big spotlight on two guitarists. A drummer appears from nowhere! The crowd/congregation claps really really fast and pencil jumps. The drum kicks in after a guitar solo. The 30 piece band all leap onto the stage! The music begins. Everyone jumps and cheers/whoops.
After lots of shouting of the word 'YOU' during the worship, with hands being thrust to the sky in a clenched fist with good enough coordination to jump at the same time. While this is taking place, and if you have enough energy left, you can look at the giant screen to see the bands leaders face adorning it. The badn leader will ALWAYS be playing acoustic guitar and have long hair and stubble.
The just as your about to have a heart attack from the jumping - on comes the minister. He does a scary hand puppeteer movement and everyone jumps again. He makes a funny comment or two about no jumping allowed upstairs. Everyone laughs. He then talks about the collection - then someone else talks about it. Then someone else. Some scripture is given to justify the collection. The collection takes place. More collection talk happens. Then more jumping/crowd surfing. Oh and don't forget to buy the bands CD!
Then the sermon takes place. In a really DYNAMIC and AMERICAN way with lots of EMPHASIS on certain words, and talk about how GREAT that persons project/church is going. A video with no justificaiton or reason is shown. Lots of people laugh at jokes I don't understand.
More jumping/singing
A big talk about a collection for the speaker takes place. More scary puppeteer hand movements. The crowd laughs and whoops a lot.
End of service. Lots of really good looking people mill about. Time for some Hillsong branded coffee. Yum. Does is class as baptism if I spill some on myself?!
Go to Mcdonalds. Feel bad that your not good looking enough to go each week.
Er excuse me Mr Wade, aren't we due an At World's End review soon? Instead of all this stuff about good looking Christian Australian's!!
Come now Mr Wade you were young and easily impressed by big sound, big emotion and beautiful people once, were you not?! If it points them to a big God, big adventure and understanding that the journey is BIGGER than just this one way of doing things is it so bad? I mean we all need a feel good sometimes!
Do you think it's right to critique a church like you would a film? Don't you think that maybe it's just not your cup of tea, it quite clearly is other peoples so therfore you shouldn't criticise it. they clearly do a lot of great work in the community and the church encouraging people of all races and ages to god, not just good looking australians.
Hello Mr/Mrs Anonymous
The idea wasn't to critique Hillsong like I would a film because obviously the two couldn't even begin to be compared. One is a piece of entertainment crafted to entertain for a number of hours - and then generate discussion afterwards. The other is a place which people go to meet with other people and worship God. As much as I may elude to the fact that Hillsong is more of a theatre entertainment style than a 'church' service - do not think that I misinterpret what church is and should be.
And your right, Hillsong isn't my cup of tea - and is 'quite clearly other peoples' but that doesn't mean that I should not critique it. If we did not do this - then church could never evolve and improve.
I hope you saw my comment about good looking Australians in jest - as it was meant to be - unfortunately not as a regular Hillsong attendee, i can only comment on my visit. And as much as I respect your views on the matter - i feel that my critique should be respected.
No church can ever please everyone, thats why there are so many different churches of different denominations. My only worry is that in a materialistic society, we now pick our churches based on what they can offer us. And while Hillsong is very attractive in its presentation and style - the feeling of a community was sorely lacking. How would it be possible to know if the person sitting next to you has attended the church before, when the church seats 2,000?
I hope that my report on my visit has not offended too much, and that it will not deter people whom Hillsong is of benifit.
Great little article. Exactly as it is, pray that more people will see it as being as empty as it really is.
Hillsong is not a church. It is club, and a money making scheme. The founder, Brian Houstons father, is known to have abused children, and its leaders are leading people into apostacy. I once went to a Hillsong "service" in Hillsong London when Brian himself was there to speak. I've never heard such a load of secular humanistic psycho babble in my whole life. Companies would pay lots of money for motivational speakers like him. Unfortunately, none of it is of God. I don't doubt there are genuine Christians there, but they are genuinely decieved, and need to repent of worshipping the world and all its trappings, rather than God. Hillsong and all these "seeker friendly" churches make me thoroughly sick, and if thats how I feel, I dread to think how the Lord sees them.